My toughest race yet

Following the diagnosis we went and picked up our lovely dog Bella, went to a dog friendly pub in Yateley for lunch and a quick pint then walked Bella round one of our favourite local beauty spots Horseshoe lake.   I remember us both trying to be positive and take the positives from what the doctor had told us.   Afterwards we went our separate ways to do the school runs then later I took Poppy to Gymnastics.   I hadn't wanted to tell my Dad or brothers during work hours so I called them during Poppy's Gymnastics class - calling to tell my Dad was one of the hardest calls I've ever had to make.   I could only imagine the pain he would go through - I could think of nothing worse than one of our children developing something like this - and this would undoubtedly open old and deep scars he'd since put to bed from supporting Mum for all that time.   He knows what Cancer is about in all its evil forms and what I am so naively facing into without a clue.   ...

I decided to start writing this a blog as I find it therapeutic to record thoughts and feelings as I start this intended journey through treatment to recovery.   Also I hope to share this with our children when they are older to show that whatever life throws at you, you can deal with it.   I also hope that it can help anyone else in a similar position either now or in the future both to answer questions around what procedures are like or help around mental support.   Strength in numbers and all that!    I am highly conscious that this is my journey that is as unique as a fingerprint, and my take on things.   Things I find easy others won't, things others find easy I don't (did I mention needles…..GAH!!!!)   Just one caveat for any close friends or colleagues reading - you quickly lose your inhibitions when it comes to bowel c - so there is lots of talk about poo! and bums unfortunately! If you don't think you can still look me in the eye kno...

I've thought about luck a lot in the past few weeks - I've always been slightly uncomfortable with quotes such as 'you make your own luck' or 'the harder I work the luckier I become'.   I like the principle in that the quotes empower people to feel like they are in control of their destiny - but as an example think of the people in the World Trade Centre attacks on 11/11.   Did they make their own luck in being in that building on that fateful day under those circumstances?   Did the person who called in sick and survived that same attack make their own luck?   What about the emergency service personnel who fought bravely to save the survivors of those attacks, only to come down with killer diseases years later as a result of it?  Slightly deep for my first paragraph...but please bear with it :) For me I sit on the fence - you can control a lot and its important to believe that you can - but there is that invisible force that can be on your side or it ...